What do you long for most right now? I bet you don't think, "If I don't have this - I'll die!" but I'm betting you probably subconsciously feel that you will only be happy if we gain one thing. It could be anything. There are little things we can desire - certain clothes, friends, a certain weight on the scale, cell phone, facebook, texting, etc. But there are bigger, long-term things we want to have in our lives. If you're reading this, and you're single, then I'm sure there's one word you've been thinking as you read this. Marriage.
Yeah I know, you're probably thinking, I've heard that I need to make the most of my singleness etc etc, I don't need another reminder. Oh but I'm going to tell you something you might not realize! The day you say "I do", your life will never, ever, ever be the same. You can never have life the same way as it was before. Now, I'm not saying you're going to look back and wish you could go back to being single. (And if any of you are worried, I'm not wishing that!!) Here's what I am saying: when you get married, you are closing a chapter on your life and you want to have lived it to it's fullest. I wish I had been more Christ-centered in my single years, however short they were. For the rest of my life, I will be a homemaker, and hallelujah, thank you Jesus for that privilege! But I will never have that single focus that being single affords. Paul writes:
"The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband." ~ 1st Corinthians 7:32b-34Seize the day! God has given you to singleness today, so live whole-heartedly in your singleness and glorify God with your life. Devote your life to growing more and more like Him. Just a sidenote: I'm not saying hold off marriage for the sake of singleness. I'm just exhorting those who are still unmarried to live 100% for Christ every day that God blesses them with singleness.
Guess what? In case you're still thinking, however subconscious it may be, that once you reach marriage you will be content and happy, hold your horses. It wasn't long after Aaron and I said "I do" that the yearnings for precious little ones crept upon me. Are these bad? No way! They are God-given desires and babies are blessings and gifts from the Lord! But I wasn't content in the gift God had given me of my marriage! I had crossed the proverbial fence to reach the greener grass, only to discover that the next field hadeven greener grass! So you see, I need to learn the same contentedness in my married-ness, as I am exhorting you in your singleness! In the same way that I will never experience singleness again, once I get pregnant, Aaron and I will never have just the two of us. We can never go back to the way it is now. Again, I'm not saying that babies are a bad thing, just like I wasn't saying that marriage was a bad thing: Aaron and I will just never have life like we do now. So, I'm learning to be content in the green pasture God has led me into. Yes, the grass on the other side of the fence may seem greener, but Lord-willing, I will get to taste of that meadow. It will just be in God's timing. Right now He's calling me to be content and live to the fullest the lot He has given me (and oh, is it a wonderful, beautiful lot!)
You know what? I think, once we do have kids, Lord willing, there may be days when I think, "I can't wait till they're all out of the house!" But that's when I need to remember this: this is the lot God has given me now, and my life will never be the same once the kids are all gone. I can't go back to the way it was, with them running through the house and making messes and dirtying laundry that I have to clean up over and over and over again. But then again I will never have their little voices in the night, calling me "Mommy", and feeling grubby fingers in mine, watching them grow up and become Godly men and women.
Live fully right where you are. This is the lot God has given you. Don't let discontentment define your life.